You want to be a better leader. You’ve read the books. Attended the seminars. Made the resolutions.
And yet, here you are, facing the same challenges. The same team dynamics. The same frustrations.
Here’s the truth: becoming a better leader isn’t about learning more. It’s about letting go of old ways and doing things differently. And most leaders know exactly what they need to do differently. They just don’t do it.
These seven practices will change your leadership. Not because they’re revolutionary. Because they work when you do them consistently.
1. Say What You Actually Mean
Stop assuming people understand you. They don’t.
You think you’re being clear. Your team is interpreting, guessing, and filling in gaps. That vague direction you gave? Three people heard three different things. That feedback you thought was obvious? They have no idea what you actually want them to change.
Ambiguity isn’t efficiency. It’s lazy leadership.
Be explicit. When you give feedback, name specific behaviors. When you set expectations, define what success looks like. When you make a request, explain the reason behind it. The extra thirty seconds of clarity saves hours of confusion and frustration later.
Your job isn’t just to communicate. It’s to be understood.
2. Stop Avoiding Difficult Conversations
That performance issue you’ve been putting off? It’s not getting better. That tension between team members you’re hoping resolves itself? It won’t. That feedback you’ve been softening to the point of meaninglessness? It’s not helping anyone.
Every conversation you avoid compounds. The problem grows. Trust erodes. Your credibility suffers.
I worked with a VP who had been “managing” a struggling employee for eighteen months. Managing meant hoping things would improve while documenting issues for eventual termination. When I asked why he hadn’t had a direct conversation, he said, “I didn’t want to demotivate him.”
The employee was already demotivated. He knew he wasn’t meaning expectations. The lack of honest conversation just made him feel like no one cared enough to help him succeed. No one wants to feel like they’re not succeeding at work.
Difficult conversations are only difficult because you’ve waited too long to have them. Have them earlier, when the stakes are lower and the solution is clearer.
3. Own Your Mistakes Fast
You made the wrong call. You said something you shouldn’t have. You forgot to follow through on a commitment.
Your response to that mistake matters just as much, if not more than the mistake itself.
Leaders who defend, justify, or minimize their mistakes lose credibility instantly. Leaders who admit them quickly, apologize genuinely, and fix them build trust faster than those who never make mistakes.
“I was wrong about that” is one of the most powerful phrases in leadership. Use it when it’s true. Which, if you’re honest, is more often than you’d like to admit.
Your team doesn’t expect perfection. They expect honestly and accountability.
4. Ask More Questions Than You Answer
When someone brings you a problem, your instinct is to solve it. Fast. Show them you’re capable. Prove you’re valuable. Fix it so they can move on.
Stop.
Every time you solve a problem for someone who could solve it themselves, you make them weaker and yourself busier. You become the bottleneck. They become dependent.
Ask questions. “What have you already tried?” “What do you think the issue is?” “What would you do if I wasn’t available?” “What would success look like here?”
Most of the time, they already know the answer. They just need permission to trust their judgment. Give them that instead of your solution.
Save your answers for the problems only you can solve. For everything else, coach them through it.
5. Pay Attention to What You’re Rewarding
You say you want innovation. Then you punish every failed experiment.
You say you want collaboration. Then you only promote individual contributors who hit their numbers.
You say you want people to speak up. Then you get defensive every time someone challenges your thinking.
Your team isn’t listening to what you say. They’re watching what you reward, tolerate, and punish.
If the culture you’re getting isn’t the culture you want, look at what you’re incentivizing. Explicitly and implicitly. What gets praise? What gets resources? What gets your attention? What gets overlooked?
You’re creating the culture you’re reinforcing, whether you mean to or not.
6. Stop Managing Everyone the Same Way
Not everyone needs the same thing from you. Some people need autonomy. Some need structure. Some need frequent check-ins. Some need space.
Treating everyone identically isn’t fair. It’s inflexible.
I coached a director who prided herself on consistency. “I treat everyone exactly the same,” she told me. “It’s only fair.”
But one of her team members was drowning under minimal oversight while another felt micromanaged by her standard check-in cadence. Same approach, completely different impacts.
Fairness isn’t treating everyone identically. It’s giving each person what they need to succeed. Figure out what works for each person. Then manage that. Some people will need more from you than others. Effective leaders flex their style to meet the needs of the audience.
7. Focus on What You Can Control
You can’t control your budget. Your boss’s priorities. The economy. Your competitor’s moves. How your team member’s personal life affects their work.
You can control your response to all of it.
Most leaders spend tremendous energy complaining about factors outside their influence. That energy could be spent on the things they can actually change: their own behavior, their communication, their decisions, how they support their team.
The more time you spend frustrated about what you can’t control, the less time you spend leveraging what you can.
Every time you catch yourself saying “I can’t because…” reframe it. “Given these constraints, what can I do?” That shift from powerless to powerful changes everything.
The Gap Between Knowing and Doing
You probably read this list and thought, “I already know all of this.”
You’re right. You do.
The question isn’t whether you know what better leadership looks like. It’s whether you’re actually doing it. Consistently. Even when it’s uncomfortable, time-consuming, or easier to skip.
Most leadership development fails because it focuses on knowledge. But you don’t need more information. You need to close the gap between what you know and what you do.
Pick one of these seven practices. Just one. Do it consistently for the next thirty days. Watch what changes.
Then pick another one.
Better leadership isn’t a destination. It’s a practice. And practice means showing up, doing the work, and getting better one decision at a time.
Which of these seven will you actually commit to this month?
If you’re ready to close the gap between the leader you want to be and the leader you are, schedule a call with me.
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