Here’s something nobody tells you about leadership: confidence isn’t something you have. It’s something you build.
And you build it through the action, not through waiting until you feel ready.
I see this all the time. A talented leader gets promoted and suddenly doubts everything. “What if I make the wrong call? What if my team doesn’t respect me? What if I’m not cut out for this?”
The irony? Everyone else already believes in them. They’re the only ones who don’t.
Last month, a client told me she was avoiding a difficult conversation with her team. “I don’t feel confident enough to address it yet,” she said.
I asked her: “What would make you feel confident enough?”
She couldn’t answer. Because confidence doesn’t come before the action. It comes after.
Here’s what I’ve learned about confidence (and a few other leadership lessons) after working with hundreds of leaders:
Confidence comes from doing the thing you’re afraid to do. You won’t feel ready to have that hard conversation. You won’t feel prepared to make that big decision. You won’t feel confident enough to challenge your boss. Do it anyway. Every time you act despite the fear, you build evidence that you can handle it. That evidence becomes your confidence.
Your team doesn’t need you to be perfect. They need you to be honest. When you don’t know something, say so. When you make a mistake, own it. When you’re uncertain, share that too. Authenticity builds trust faster than perfection ever could. The leaders I admire most are the ones who say “I got that wrong” without defensiveness.
Leadership is about influence, not authority. Your title gives you a position. Your behavior gives you influence. I’ve seen senior executives with zero real influence and individual contributors who shape entire organizations. The difference? How they show up. How they listen. How they treat people when no one’s watching.
You teach people how to treat you. If you respond to every email at midnight, people will expect that. If you accept disrespectful behavior, it will continue. If you don’t protect your boundaries, no one else will. Every choice you make sets a precedent. Make sure it’s one you want to live with.
The best leaders are the best learners. They’re curious. They ask questions. They seek feedback actively instead of waiting for it. They read, reflect, and constantly look for ways to grow. I’ve never met a great leader who thought they’d figured it all out. The moment you stop learning is the moment you stop leading effectively.
Your energy shapes the room. Walk in stressed and distracted, your team feels it. Show up present and curious, they respond differently. This doesn’t mean faking positivity. It means being intentional about the energy you bring. On tough days, acknowledge it. “I’m having a rough morning, but let’s focus on this project.” Honesty plus intention goes a long way.
Delegation isn’t about dumping work. It’s about developing people. When you hold onto everything, you become the bottleneck. Worse, you rob your team of growth opportunities. Yes, they’ll do it differently than you would. Yes, it takes time to teach them. Do it anyway. Your job isn’t to be the best executor. It’s to build the best team.
Progress beats perfection every time. Stop waiting for the perfect strategy, the perfect timing, the perfect conditions. Make a decision with the information you have. Take action. Adjust as you go. I’ve seen more careers stall from overthinking than from imperfect execution.
Here’s what ties all of this together: great leadership is built through hundreds of small choices.
How you respond when someone challenges you. How you handle mistakes (yours and others’). How you show up when you’re tired. How you treat the person with the least power in the room.
These moments add up. They create your reputation. They define your impact.
So stop waiting to feel confident. Stop waiting to be ready. Start acting like the leader you want to become, and watch how quickly you grow into that version of yourself.
What leadership lesson has hit you hardest lately?
If you’d like to talk through your leadership challenges and build real confidence through action, let’s connect.
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