I was reminded over Christmas Eve dinner of something every leader needs to remember: your words are rarely heard at face value.
My brother was the chef that night. He’d outdone himself. The meal was incredible. I watched friends and family go back for seconds, thirds, even. It was the kind of dinner where people kept getting up from the table, not because they were leaving, but because they couldn’t resist another helping.
So I said to him: “I’ve never seen the group go back for seconds the way they did tonight.”
I meant it as the highest compliment. It was the best meal I remember him making. There wasn’t a critical thought in my mind.
The person sitting next to me leaned over and whispered, “That could be taken as either an insult or a compliment.”
I stopped. She was right.
My brother could have heard: “Your previous meals weren’t good enough for seconds.” That wasn’t remotely what I meant. But I could see how the words, without more context, could land that way.
Here’s the thing: intention doesn’t equal impact.
The Leadership Lesson
This happens constantly in leadership. You say something with one intention, and people hear something completely different.
You tell someone “good job,” and they hear “that’s all you’re capable of.” You say, “Let me know if you need help,” and they hear, “I don’t trust you to handle this alone.” You ask, “How’s the project going?” and they hear, “I’m checking up on you because I’m worried.”
People interpret everything through their own screens, shaped by their experiences, their insecurities, their past interactions with authority figures. We all carry filters built from both nature and nurture that affect how we receive messages.
As leaders, we don’t get to control how our words are received. But we are responsible for making sure our message lands as intended.
That often means being more explicit, more thoughtful, and sometimes saying more than feels necessary.
What Clarity Actually Looks Like
Instead of “good job,” try: “I’m really impressed with how you handled that client conversation. The way you stayed calm and found a solution shows real growth.”
Instead of “let me know if you need help,” try: “I have full confidence you can handle this. And if you want to talk through any part of it, I’m here.”
Instead of “how’s the project going?” try: “I’m checking in because I want to make sure you have what you need. How’s it going? Any obstacles I can help remove?”
The extra words matter. They provide context. They clarify intent. They close the gap between what you mean and what people hear.
I’ve worked with leaders who resist this approach. “I shouldn’t have to spell everything out,” they say. “People should give me the benefit of the doubt.”
Maybe. But leadership isn’t about what should be. It’s about what it is.
And the reality is: your words carry weight. Your tone gets analyzed. Your facial expressions get interpreted. People are constantly reading between the lines, trying to figure out what you really mean.
You can fight that reality, or you can work with it.
The Cost of Ambiguity
I’ve seen ambiguous communication create real damage in organizations.
A manager tells someone, “We need to talk,” and doesn’t clarify the topic. That person spends two days anxious, convinced they’re about to be fired, when it was actually just a routine check-in about an upcoming project.
A leader says, “This isn’t quite what I was looking for” without explaining what they were looking for. The team member redoes the work three times, each attempt missing the mark because they’re guessing at the target instead of having clear direction.
An executive announces, “We’re making some changes” without context. The organization spirals into rumor and fear, productivity drops, and top performers start updating their resumes, all because of vague communication.
Ambiguity creates anxiety. Anxiety kills performance, erodes trust, and damages morale. And it’s completely avoidable with more thoughtful communication.
Clarity Isn’t Over-Communication
Some leaders worry that being more explicit makes them sound patronizing or wordy. They want to be efficient, direct, and concise. They pride themselves on getting to the point quickly.
I get it. But clarity isn’t over-communication. It’s leadership.
It’s taking responsibility for the gap between what you say and what people hear. It’s acknowledging that your words matter and choosing them carefully. It’s caring enough about your impact to say a few extra sentences that close the loop and ensure understanding.
After that Christmas dinner conversation, I went back to my brother. “That was meant as the highest compliment,” I told him. “Seriously, that was the best meal I remember you making. Everything was perfect.”
He smiled. Message received.
It took ten extra seconds. But those ten seconds ensured my words landed the way I intended. Ten seconds to prevent misunderstanding, hurt feelings, or confusion.
That’s what effective leadership communication looks like. Not complicated. Just intentional.
Your Challenge This Week
Pay attention to moments when your message might be ambiguous. When you give feedback, make a request, or share information, ask yourself: could this be interpreted differently than I intend?
If the answer is yes, add context. Clarify intent. Say the extra sentence that makes your meaning unmistakable.
Your team will thank you for it. And you’ll avoid the misunderstandings that create unnecessary friction, confusion, and anxiety in your workplace.
Because at the end of the day, your job as a leader isn’t just to communicate. It’s to be understood. Clear communication builds trust, strengthens relationships, and creates the psychological safety your team needs to perform at its best.
What’s a moment when your good intentions were interpreted differently than you expected?
If you’d like to talk about improving your communication and leadership impact, let’s connect. Schedule a Management Insight Call here.